7.30.2007

Winning Entry At Last


At long last (I humbly apologize again for the delay) here is the winning entry to get petty: the contest, posted by Mellifluous Dark. Congratulations to MD and all who entered. Read on for great notable lines from other entries!

The Winning Entry:

You think you're gonna take her away, with your money and your cocaine. But I’m watching you and I’ll do whatever I have to so you’re no longer able to touch her.

I like to think you imagine that I observe you sometimes. Do you do that, Larry? You know how my mind works, the lengths to which I’d go. You know I’m unencumbered by a conscience. Why aren’t you more worried, more watchful?

I wouldn’t say I hate you, old friend. I despise you. She was my perfect match, the one unsullied thing I had in my life. You are her polar opposite. You need to walk away. Put away your money, stop taking her out to those places where the cutlery is six-deep. She is no whore; you know where you can get plenty of those.

After what we’d all been through, I can’t imagine how you are so stupid that you believe we’re done – that I could be fine with you wrapping yourself and your life around her. Are you marking her body the way you now mark her mind? Are you? I almost crept into the bedroom once, intending to watch from the cupboard to see what sorts of things you did, but the possibilities made me dizzy.

Two years may have passed, but with each day you anger me more. When I see you walking down her street, laden with lilies, I hold myself back. I’m gonna have to wait or you’ll get in there first and find some way to keep me away from you. I can’t have that; I’ve worked so hard to find you again, Larry. I’m amazed that you’ve forgotten me. But I am a Scorpio, I never forget. You should have remembered that.

She looks happy when she opens her front door – you stand there in a beautiful suit, your pockets full, posing for a moment as she appraises you before you cross the threshold. Her face is slimmer, her pink mouth is as wide as ever and the shadows have fallen from beneath her eyes. She is my she. Her softness and silkiness and those sensual parts of her, they are mine.

An old woman laden with bags of potatoes caught me watching you once. Her sparse eyebrows lifted at the sight of me and she shuffled away, her dirty sandals scraping the pavement as she scurried, stumbling and mumbling.

It’s bonus day soon. You’ll be so distracted by your wallet, and what it can buy, that you won’t have time to allow yourself to remember the anniversary of when you told me how badly you wanted to screw her. We were off our heads on coke and Cristal. You laughed. I got into my car, blurry with fury.

So, here we are. Your hands are relaxed on the steering wheel of your new Jaguar. Your scream, as my hands grip yours, is piercing. The sudden impact brings you instantly to where you can see me.

Hello, Larry.

****

Notable Great Lines from other entries:

"The head of security for Winger’s, a Gainsville, Florida venue stepped into the messy dressing room, creaking the threshold with 300-pounds of muscle and closed the door, then stood at parade rest, with his hands clasped behind him."

"She is a Dodge Viper kinda girl and I’m a Hyundai Accent kinda guy. "

"Manny buzzed his secretary to advise her he was going to be unavailable for the rest of the afternoon. Bloody celebrities."

Thanks to all who entered and stay tuned for more contests in this space.

7.25.2007

i'm late for a very important date


Announcements of the winners and notable entries in get petty: the contest are forthcoming shortly. Apologies for the delay, kind readers and writers.

7.23.2007

novel written in the time it takes to apply sunscreen


Or one could be.
Anyone itching to be the inventor of the century should focus their creative merchandising on the application of sunscreen, at present a gooey and tedious task that almost everyone engages in. Some strides have been taken in the children's application field (the 'sticks' for the face are excellent), but very little has been done in the way of innovation for the adult sunscreen putter onner. So while you're waiting to hear about the result of get petty: the contest, or while you're waiting until the next time you have to spend 20 minutes putting white paste all over your body, send me some solutions. A bath? A pill? There's gotta be a better way.

7.19.2007

oboyoboy


Contest news: entries are in and I'm thrilled to have the little stash of stories to go through, like when you have that fat wad of monopoly money (all the 500's on the bottom) and are just starting to buy hotels. So exciting.

Other news: just reread a story by Richard Bausch, a writer I had a lot of fun with (a great storyteller) at a writing conference a couple years back. The story is called "No One in Hollywood", and even though I remembered the central event, it still made me gasp when I read it, laying in the bathtub with the curtains drawn. I love that.

Other other news: I haven't had a lot of time to write during summer school, but work is slowing up come next week, and I have two or three voices nagging in my ear. Nicely, I haven't felt bad for not writing, just happy looking forward to when I can get back there. One lesson learned: I pitched an article to the local weekly paper, and they were interested. Catch was I hadn't written it yet. Soooo, I tried to get time and it's about half way done, but I suspect their interest in it is all the way done. Silly me. First write the thing, then try and sell it. I'll try to remember that order in future.

The poem that came out in the Rose and Thorn was a nice little sweet treat this summer. I'm interested that it wasn't a bigger deal for me, and I think that's because I don't write much poetry now, so it's not the genre closest to my heart anymore, and because I went through a spell a while back where I was a bit bothered by all the "no, thanks" notes I was getting. Dispiriting, sometimes, but I'm on to other spells now, and ain't that just the way.

7.12.2007

put down the mickey's. pick up the pen.


M'kay people: I know it's summer and the sun is sunny and you're drinking good things that make working seem funny, but at the risk of sounding like I should be wearing pom poms on my hands (never been there), YOU yes you can win get petty: the contest. Know why? Because you my friend will be one of only a few entries. So do as the post title says and git writin.

What could be better than penning a stunning l'il entry and giving it flight, only to receive the best news a writer can: you're better than all those other stinkin writers, so there! You're triumphant! You're higher than high! And it's not the Mickey's! It's your fabulous brain and heart and mind. In your FACE, pathetic other writers, you sneer. Ha ha. I crush you! I step on your pens! My pen is king. King Pen! Like in Spiderman! You shave your head and gain 325 pounds and buy a velvet dinner jacket. You're a criminal mastermind.

Who knows what great things might come from one success? Who can guess? I'll be waiting eagerly for your entries.

7.09.2007

poem appears

My poem is out in the new summer edition of The Rose and Thorn ezine. But I hope you are all terribly busy writing your entries to the contest, and can only stop for a few moments to see it at www.theroseandthornezine.com.

7.06.2007

get petty: the contest

For a while now I've toyed with the idea of hosting a contest series in this space, wherein all entries needs must begin with the same first line, which is the first line of a designated Tom Petty song.

Said contest is now on.

My reasons are not complex. The mind casts about restlessly for means to express the admiration one feels for Mr. Petty. This is but a meager effort to sing his praises to the masses, as if they needed singing.

Also, I don't sing. Also, to quote Dr. Seuss, these things are fun, and fun is good.

So here's the scratch on get petty, the contest:

rules: all entries must begin with the following text: "You think you're gonna take her away, with your money and your cocaine."

length: 500 words max

deadline: midnight, july 17 07

genre: any

hints: be inventive. edit mercilessly. surprise me. have a spanking good time.

winning: one winner and a few honorable mentions will be announced and posted on the blog by july 24 at the very latest.

other rules: this contest is judged by me and is totally subject to my tastes, blah blah. the moon topples is a blog that runs excellent contests and he has a bunch of highly developed rules, so if you need more rules, you can go and read his.

Send your entry as a comment to this post by the deadline.